A friend shared that she finds it really hard to know what to say when friends or loved ones need support. “It doesn’t matter what’s wrong,” she confides, “I just feel their stress and I’m at a loss for words.”

My friend isn’t alone. I don’t know anyone who feels perfectly comfortable dealing with a difficult situation. When emotions are involved, it’s hard not to feel the emotions yourself. Despite past experiences or even training, it’s tough to function in a stressful environment without being impacted by the stress.

So what can you do to extend support? You can help best by listening. The sick, bereaved or troubled friend or loved one needs to articulate how they feel. And it is a blessing if you can provide an outlet. Many people find comfort knowing someone cares enough to hear them out. It is through telling our stories that we often make sense of what is happening in our lives.

In the end, it’s not often what we say but what we do.