Illness & Death
Illness & Death

Buy the Books
All Books Available Now As eBooks!

Recommended By

"My job involves coordinating onsite services following traumatic situations affecting the workplace. The majority of the requests involve the loss of an employee, spouse or child so each of your books have  been perfect for me when doing outreach to the various level of employees. Thank you for the many books and articles you have written!"

Amy Kurz, Critical Services Coordinator

Mentioning the Deceased by Name
PDF Print E-mail

Sometimes it feels like the elephant in the room. Someone has died and we don’t want to bring up their name. So we not only don’t mention their name in conversation, but we refrain from talking about them. Do you ever wonder why we avoid saying the name of the deceased?

A friend facing the anniversary of her husband’s death was hurt that friends no longer said her husband’s name. She finally asked them why and they told her they were afraid his name would make her sad. She’s already sad that her husband died and she thinks about him all the time; she told her friends she likes to talk about him, too, and she’d welcome hearing his name.

That reminded me of a story another friend shared. It was the anniversary of the death of her 21-year old neighbor. Although she remembered the date, she didn’t plan to send a card or call her friend because she didn’t want to remind her of her loss. I explained that her friend was thinking about her son all the time, especially on the anniversary of his death. If she were to reach out to her, she would make her friend feel supported and not so alone in her grief.

It can be awkward to broach the subject, but why not give it a try. Let a friend know that you think of ‘Peter,’ her deceased spouse, every time you eat coffee ice cream, his favorite. Or, around the anniversary of a neighbor’s daughter’s death, let them know that you’ll never forget ‘Lisa’s’ wonderful smile. Or, share with someone that something reminded you of ‘Tim’ and just the thought of him made you feel good. You’ll make them feel good, too!

blog comments powered by Disqus